Monday, October 24, 2011

So your girlfriend’s not Barbie


So your girlfriend’s not Barbie 
buy the book
dude, sucks for you
mine got lipo last week
laser hair removal
you could just sell her ugly clothes
upgrade to the new model
make her wear a bra to bed
10 Ways to Start The Diet Talk
How Her Genetics May Make You Fat
you can’t fuck her brain
try turning the lights off
give it as a present
remind her what you could be having
dude, she’s only getting older
hint
Is She Worth Changing?

45000781 or My Bones Want to Tell You Something


skeletal sample 45000781
dig site “verissimo valley”
caucasian
pelvic structure indicative of female
northern Scandinavian influence seen in structure of facial area
estimated height at around 5’4”
estimated weight 130 - 155 pounds
cultural factors must be considered before weight at death is agreed upon
age can be pinpointed at between 18 and 20 years
as indicated by nearly complete fusion of the epiphysis and length of bones
multiple hairline fractures on the phalanges and olphalanges
sign of large scale trauma to left tibia and patella
telltale scrapings point to surgery of some sort
reconstructive?
minor trauma to right patella
similar cause or compensation of the trauma to the left?
scar site at top right anterior of cranial structure
possible laceration and/or fall from some height
multiple stress fractures to the spine
possibly caused by repeated bending and pressure from odd angles
unknown cause
possible signs of carrying heavy weight, such as a pack, for extended periods of time
unlikely given found location
pelvic spread indicates 45000781 has given birth 
extent of spread points to a vaginal delivery
abnormal 
considering cesarian deliveries assumed to be norm due to average socio-economic state of other remains discovered in general area of dig site
state of bone at approximated time of spread indicates the subject was a between ages 13 and 16
younger than normative for possible age of origin and location of remains when found
wear to left carpal bones and joints indicates 45000781 favored left hand
anomaly could explain increased wear on left leg joints; favoring dominant side
pattern of wear to pelvic, spinal, and carpal bones leads to theory 
that 45000781 sat stationary for extended periods of time
note: investigate possible occupations
hair samples show repeated bleaching and dying with artificial pigments
jewelry found with 45000781
mostly silver
1 - necklace - intricate scroll work - watch parts w/ some small gold gears - unidentified jewel accent
45000781 appeared to have had a piercing of the nasal cartilage
possible tribal or subcultural affiliations
1 - captive bead ring - hematite bead - steel ring
Theory: 45000781 had three piercings on each ear lobe
Evidence:
2 - silver lengths of linked chains on ear-hooks - spiked ball detail attached to base of link of chain
2 - garnet - post - silver stud backing
2 - small silver bat - post - silver stud backing
no conclusions yet made from jewelry
study pending
no rings noted
negates theory that 45000781 was engaged in western practice of “marriage”
clothing too deteriorated to estimate socio-economic status
fiber analysis pending
foot coverings found at dig site, close to body
possibly removed after burial
motive unknown
classified as “boots”
constructed from unidentified dried, treated, cattle hide
secured with long, woven strips of synthetic fiber
possible theory: 
choice of foot coverings reflected existence of personal choice in clothing
possible tribal or subcultural affiliation
as yet unproven due to lack of evidence
known: 
no evidence of specific foot coverings as necessary for sedentary occupation as assumed by skeletal wear
Update:
second skeleton found in close proximity to 45000781
pelvic structure indicates male
epiphysis on sternal end of clavicle partially fused
complete fusion of epiphysis on end of long bones
age estimated between 20 and 25
no known relation as of yet
more evidence pending

Musings during Midterms


heaviness on my shoulders tastes tangy
keeping me awake with a dichotomy of sour and something else
I just can’t place
the catalogue of previous oral experiences has not been sorted
this would be easier if the dewey decimal system had been
implemented last time the computer 
demanded that its cutting edge software be updated

Between You and I


between you and I 
it is understood
that the prettiest cages cannot be but what they are
no magical morning will dawn
in which mankind will wake up
free from guilt and pain and greed
on an individual level
my worldview resembles 
an expensive pair of heels in need of new soles
beautiful and broken and soulless
tromping on nonetheless
making the repairs more expensive
with each subsequent city block
interestingly enough
the future is not yet leathered with age
cages may be cages 
but can they be put to different use?
because to be quite frank I’m looking for a bookcase
and it goes with the decor quite nicely
but we must wash off the blood before it stains these bleached pages
and books are going out of style, don’t you hear?
So these might be worth something someday to someone

What Are You?


What are you?
What are you?
Pardon?
Exotic is a dirty word
Exotic does not mean beautiful
It is a word used to denote 
'Other'
No longer human as they are 
Something unknown
Different
A new body to be conquered
Exotic is not sexual
Sex is a form of hostile takeover
Casanova was a conquistador
What better way to neutralize an unknown factor than to spill your base seed into it's harsh and biting depths?
Infect the ‘other’ with your normalcy
Exotic
We must name something 
label something
before we can accept that something
Now, what if that something is a someone?

Love and Karma and the Bastardization of Metaphor


There are good days and there are bad. 
And on the very worst, life is ephemeral.  
Painfully so. 
My lover lies beside me but leaves no place for me to sleep.  
He is all I need, all I could ever ask for.  All I never thought to ask for.  Is it a cruel form of justice that I managed to find someone even more stubborn and independent as myself?
Karma in only the westernized sense.  Karma for a woman sworn to marry only her scholarly aspirations.  
It is every cliche’d moon metaphor.  Pushing and pulling and balancing until we are all so wet that the cliche of a woman as the moon leaves our female protagonist round and fertile and open and everything slips into place.  In the metaphorical sense only, of course.

Vignette With a Plastic Goddess


In the name of the holy plastic goddess
I declare a war on BPA and polyester
Barbie, queen mother of the oversexed and underdressed, has issued a divine command
We must buy the complementary accessory set and multiethnic companion doll or we will never learn to make friends or combat racism
Speaking of racism; doesn't Pocahontas barbie look a hell of a lot like Chinese new year barbie or Peruvian barbie or . . . Wait a second there
Shhhh, merry Christmas barbie smiles in 2D and politely requests us to look past the limitations of diversity capabilities