Sunday, July 14, 2013

Commitment-phobia

I now know how alone a Burmese python feels
Stranded in the Florida Everglades after consuming a senior citizen’s pet Pekinese 
Sated but alone
A little itchy on the inside
Feeling the need to escape and then realizing you have no feet and
You’re in a food coma
Granted, the python didn’t just friends-with-benefits-zone someone because they were only 5’9”
Among other reasons
Such as lack of education and making racist jokes
Being height-ist is better than admitting you had sex with someone who is an active reddit user

It is a cruel rule of time that
When a young woman is not interested in being emotionally intimate with the person she is physically intimate with will be
The exact moment in time when all the men in the greater San Francisco Bay Area decide they want to settle down . . . with their ex . . . or the girl who brought the keg . . . or their friend’s sister . . .
Or maybe even the damned Pekinese if it was interested in hearing how their day went.

The safety of denying intimacy is
Negated once the unloved lovers find braver souls
They cannot leave me if there is nothing to leave and I cannot lose if I give nothing away
I cannot be ugly if I never ask to be called beautiful
I cannot be missing what I never wanted to begin with.

Maybe that last one is a lie
Promiscuity is only fulfilling until your harem of caressers wanders into commitment
With other people
One by one
Until I am left sitting on my bed

Just my boundaries and me.

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