I was suffocating
If you must know
Underneath memories of who we were
I was sixteen riding shotgun in your jeep
The stars were so huge at midnight in summer
Somehow I knew you were forever
Somehow I knew I wasn’t
I was nineteen and on my back
Your warmth within and around me put icicles in my heart
It hurt that you couldn’t be forever
It hurt that you couldn’t even manage now for yourself
I’m twenty, just twenty
I keep lovers just long enough to lose myself
It works better this way
No one asks me to stop dreaming
I am terrifyingly free
If you must know
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